Friday, October 29, 2004

Top 10 Thoughts For The Day

10. Life is sexually transmitted.
9. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
8. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
7. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
6. Whenever I am blue, I start breathing again.
5. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
4. Why does a slight tax increase cost you hundreds of dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
3. In the 60`s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
2. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

Many terrorists come to America legally and hang around on expired visas (some for as long as 10-15 years). Now take Blockbuster, for example: You're two days late with a video rental and those people are all over you. I think we should put Blockbuster in charge of US immigrations.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

There Will Be No Nursing Home In My Future

When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship.

The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked
on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and
senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the
restaurant, or I can have room service ( which means I can have
breakfast in bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room,
free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An
extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help

6. I will get to meet new people every 7or 14 days.

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the
mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and
apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to
ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on
If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade
you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the
Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you
want to go?
Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a
nursing home, just call shore to ship.

P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the
side at no charge.

(None of this hasn't been verified with Princess Cruises)

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Setting An Example Is Not The Main Means Of Influencing Others, It Is The Only Means.

... Albert Einstein

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Ex-President Views His Relm

Last year’s President of the Third Laguna Hills Mutual housing association, George Portlock, risked life and limb, Saturday, October 16, 2004, by flying with Roger in a Robinson R22 helicopter. We departed from Rotors Aviation at the Long Beach airport at Noon for an hour flight. We took the usual “Tourist Tour” down the beach to Laguna, then over to Leisure World to check out all the property. There is nothing like a thousand foot perch to see what it looks like. (NOTE TO FAA: Actually a 1,396' perch. LOL)

On the way back to Long Beach, while flying past John Wayne airport, George related to me an event in his life that I really had to take notice of: It seems when George was a teenager, he was interested in aviation and wanted to be a pilot. At that time a friend of his had a bi-wing Stearman airplane. The Stearman is like the airplane the "Red Baron" flew: Open cockpit, with tandem seating, one behind the other. Shortly after take-off, his friend, the pilot, told him he was going to do a roll. George asked him if he would fall out and the reply was, "Not if you keep your seat-belt fastened." The roll was made and while upside down, George, the teenager, UNBUCKLED his seat belt and guess what ... He fell out. After a successful parachute deployment and a less-than-perfect-landing in a tree, young George was greeted by many in his family - NOT as a hero, but ... well, you guess! His piloting career was summarily ended that day. What a guy, George! That story will get you a free beer at any Fighter Pilot's hangout in the world!

Not only are you a great President, but one heck of a guy. That was very gutsy … or was it something else? You’re my Hero!


Kiwanis "Big Cheese" takes a ride with Roger in a Robinson R22 on Sunday, October 10, 2004. We checked out the SoCal beaches from the Queen Mary in the Long Beach harbor, then southeasterly to Laguna Beach. From there we headed inland to Laguna Woods and then RTB ... Military talk for "Return To Base."

The flight was a perfect hour of enjoyment. And Jim didn't get us lost once! Good going Nav ...

Monday, October 04, 2004

VOIP (Pronounced like "flop")

After a lot of nail-biting, I finally tried the "new-fangled" internet phone service ... VOIP. Since Jacquie and I are actually in the phone business - as a competitor - I thought I'd give it a test run, with the somewhat harbored hope that it would be a big flop ... to rhyme with VOIP. To my great surprise, it works great.

I bought a little box from "Best Buys" and after I get back the hoped for mail-in rebate (Oh, I hate those!) my net cost will be around 15-bucks. I set up an account on the internet ($14.95/mo) in about ten minutes. Easy. Next, I unpacked the little box (with the cool looking flashing blue lights!), plugged in the power, plugged in a regular house phone and plugged in a network cable from the box to my router. The manual say's wait until the cool blue lights stop flashing ... and make call. Yeah - Right: When does THAT ever work?

The lights stopped flashing, I picked up my phone, fully expecting to hear ... nothing. What I heard was: A dial tone. Whoa! I dialed my house phone ... and it rang! Unbelievable! From there on it was boringly simple, just like a phone should be.

Try it - You'll like it.
(No, I don't sell it. It's just good and worth knowing about.)

Ten Million Dollars Isn't Too Bad!

Today, Dick Rutan's Scaled Composites made the "Money Flight" above 100km., into space, and collected US$10,000,000. Not bad for a day's work ... Well, maybe it was more than a day's work! Whatever ... It was revolutionary and he deserved it. Even NASA stood up and took notice.

But this is only the start: Instead of NASA's mono-expensive International Space Station, a "New-Guy-On-The-Block", Bigelow Aerospace of Las Vegas is developing (and near launching) an inflatable space station. Yes ... a balloon like station! It will cost only a small fraction of NASA'a Goliath, will provide far more space and is far more resistant to meteor impacts. (Ever hear of a self-sealing fuel tank? It is a rubber bladder tank used in NASCAR race cars. They can take incredible damage and never leak.

Unusual Photo Op

While casually strolling along, who should I run into but ...

Saturday, October 02, 2004

"Really Hard Work"

I hate to even whisper this, but I think the President "stepped on his necktie" during the last debate. To me, he looked like he had just stepped out from an all-day staff meeting that had been "hard work." The impression I got was he expected everyone to recognize all the 'hard work" being done.

No one, with the likely exception of his wife and family, wanted President Bush to succeed as much as I did, but when the "hard work" started sounding like a mantra, I began to cringe.

A couple of humble suggestions for next time.:

1) Stand up straight and tall and look "Presidential." Don't slouch on the podium.
2) Talk like a President-in-Charge and not like a college kid phoning home.
3) Have some good material ready for those times when the clock is still running and you need to fill. A broken record doesn't play long before it's turned OFF!
4) Be pro-active and not re-active. Pin Sen. Kerry's ears back ... don't wait for him to throw a hand-grenade at you.
5) DO NOT ever assume that everyone is on your side and you can skimp on preparation.

I blame your advisors and handlers for not preparing the President better. If it happens again:

You Lose!

Friday, October 01, 2004

New Leisure World Security Guard

Looking beautiful while watching those that propose to enter Leisure World is none other than Jacquie's mom ... Marjorie Ellis! (Today was her first day.)

I can tell you, with no doubt, that Mom is very happy and excited about being able to work with the PCM (Professional Community Management) security staff.

Good News ... Now we will all sleep better and more peacefully.


Off We Go Into The Wild Blue Yonder

Dateline: John Wayne Airport (Orange County), CA, October 1, 2004.
Today I took Mark Weiss from Leisure World Channel Six TV for a long anticipated helicopter ride. Several months ago when it was proposed to land the R22 in the parking lot of Clubhouse Five for the LW 40th Anniversary event, I had promised Mark that he could go along. Well, the super-cautious Risk Assessment folks killed that idea, so I offered Mark another flight ... Today was that day. Mark brought along his beautiful Canon GL-1 pro video camera and captured some great footage. We looked over the Leisure World real estate, the Irvine Auto Center, the Irvine Spectrum and the old El Toro MCAS. From there we took a eye-popping low-level (100'-500') trip up the shore from Laguna Beach to Long Beach. Along the way we encountered a group of kite-surfers. We flew alongside a couple of the surfers for a spectacular overhead view of the action.

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